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Do you find yourself treating your step child differently?
I love my step son, but I have to admit that it's not the same love I have for my own child. How will I know if I'm treating him differently from my own?
It's hard...and it's perfectly normal to feel differently about your biological children than your stepchildren - I think even more so if they are not with you 100% of the time. If your stepkids are with you all the time, it's basically like adopting them and at that point it would take some time to feel the same way and I would say it would be wrong to treat them any differently.
But if your stepkids are being shuffled between 2 worlds, or you have them part-time, but you see your biological kids all the time...than of course it's going to feel differently.
It takes on average 4-7 YEARS, yes YEARS for each member of a stepfamily to find their 'fit' and figure out the dynamics of the new family. And that is AFTER re-marriage, not during living together or anything resembling that.
I am a stepmom and have been married for 2 years and been involved with my stepkids for 4-5 years. It has taken me until now to feel total love towards them.....we don't have them all the time. Stepfamiles are hard work and anyone that says 'oh you have to love them like your own' has not been in the situation and would be singing a different tune if they were in a stepfamily.
You may FEEL differently, but don't act differently. How will you know? I'm not sure....actions speak louder than words I guess. I have a baby now and I love her soooo much. I would have to say a little more than my stepkids......but I'm just being honest...it's the truth, it is a different bond completely. But I love my stepkids, I truly do and I take good care of them.
I think it depends on the living situation. I hope this helps...
The Riley Ann Sawyers Story