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I own a bar. Customers complain about the seats, so I bought some stool softeners, but it didnt work, why not?
People are always complaining about the bar stools that I have in my bar. "My butt hurts, these chair suck". THe complaining was driving me nuts.
I was going to go buy some padding for them, but I thought that would look tacky, and I dont have enough money to buy new stools. So I went to the bars&billiards place asking if they had any stool softeners, and the jerk just laughed at me and said "very funny, try Walgreens". What the hell was his problem?
So I flipped him off, punched him in the throat, and left to go to the Wal. I bought 20 boxes of this stool softener, I rubbed them into the wood of the stools and nothing happened. The wood is still hard.
Is it supposed to soak in somehow? Do I need to get it wet to make it activate?
Your customers are supposed to lick them each time they start to sit down or get up!!!
If you have any left over, serve them mixed in or with their drinks!!! Also, make it a mandatory thing for them to always do this, even go as far as having them make a contribution each time, so you can always keep a good supply of softeners available!!! Before long, the stools will be so soft as to be slippery!!! You won't get no more 'hard' complaints and people will 'move' too much to notice if the stool has started to get uncomfortable again!!!
LMAO!!!
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