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Another Semper Fi exclusive?
Watch Your Clock
By Semper Fi Reborn
What time is it?
Can you set your watch,
By the sands of time?
Does your sun dial
Come in digital?
Watch your clock, clock your watch,
We're running out of time.
We're soon to lose our minds,
In the daily grind of time.
Watch the price of petro.
The money we let go,
To circuit the metro,
Four dollar gallons?
I break into sweats, so,
The rich can get richer I reckon.
The clock on the wall,
Always eats seconds. Get it?
Or don't you?
Will you feel it? Or won't you?
The seconds keep moving,
And the tick is going to haunt you.
Why be alarmed?
Please pardon my pun,
But hon,
The spiral to recession has begun!
Do you you know what time it is?
Watch your clock.
You are a weaver of words' meanings! Excellent, oh goody!!!
Okay, where should I start? Gotta...too good to let go!
'Get it? Or don't you'......not needed in the slightest! Ticks don't necessarily haunt so much...as they suck blood from the living! 'But hon'...not necessary. Oh, so much....but, do you really think 'do you know what time it is' is neccessary? What about just 'Watch your clock' as a BAM ending line....since you've been writing of Time all along.
In some places, you're flat-out 'telling' the reader the meaning, instead of 'letting' the reader assign their own meaning. You know what I'm talking about, too.
This is SO close to GREAT it's scarey!
Main Lab Kusha Nahi Hon by Aqsa Abdul Haq Qadri ( Metro TV)